Tonight was laundry night. It needed to be done or I was going to start buying clothes thinking that I had none.
I must’ve fumbled in the wrong place of the upper shelf in my utility closet.
I wasn’t doing much while the laundry was going. Mostly just talking on the phone, which my ear was starting to hurt so I decided to hang up. I hung up and got off my red couch and went back to the utility closet to fold laundry. While I was folding laundry I was thinking insecure thoughts. Thoughts of self-worth or for the lack thereof. My mind has a tendency to think this. It’s not my most positive place.
Also, when I went back to the utility closet I noticed an old yearbook fell. Not a hardback yearbook from boarding school, but a cheesy paper thin one from 6th grade.
When I opened it, I immediately opened it up to my 6th grade class. There were cute, friendly notes inside written by my ole’ pals from Wilson Elementary School. There was also a BIG blob scratched all over my face. I clearly remembered doing this when I got my yearbook. I still remember thinking I was the most awkward person in the class. My glasses were tilted, my hair was disheveled and my braces were shiny and polished. I also remember thinking my sweater was ugly and I looked like a big skinny nerd.
I was clearly insecure. I needed to open up that yearbook in that moment to remind myself of that inner critic who scratched a big blob on her face the day the yearbook came out.
I think this fell of the upper shelf for a reason. Whether it just fell to the ground or it’s an unknown cosmic encounter that happened. I’m open.