Here’s a true story that I don’t talk about much.
The only way out of a negative, fearful based perception is to choose LOVE.
There will always be fear and angry thoughts. Fear is like sugar. Somehow it sneaks its way into everything.
The only way out is to choose love.
I know it’s hard. And for many, I know it feels even harder.
It doesn’t happen overnight. Nothing does. But it does take practice.
After 9/11 I became very angry.
Every good part of me that I was used to felt like it died. I felt like I died.
I was unemployed for a few months after and during that time I spent a lot of time alone during the day pissed as all hell. I’d practice yoga, meditate, walk in nature, stare at the Rockies outside of my window and I’d still feel angry. I honestly didn’t know if I’d ever feel normal again.
I couldn’t look in the mirror without wanting to stick my tongue out at myself. (True story).
I tried so hard to love, but something was missing.
The more I would take time to practice, the more I became present with the process. And even in fits of rage where I wanted to flip someone off and yell at them, my heart would begin to awaken more and through that process I would begin to call myself out on my own stuff. I’d say ‘that’s toxic you are better than that crap.’
A few years later, I woke up and I had an epiphany. That epiphany changed it all.
It was simple.
And it’s still a practice.
And it will continue to be for as long I live in my human body.
We have to choose which side to feed. Fear or love? Of course fear will always be there, but the choice is up to me. And I choose love.