I recently noticed that I was removed and excluded from a group because I had chosen to create my own project.
Even though I had contributed positive things to the group and in many ways still do, there was a part of me that felt both rejected and misunderstood. There was also the feeling of understanding and clarity.
Part of me wanted to sulk in my sorrows and dwell on the feeling of being left out. There was this feeling of my inner little girl who had memories of exclusion and being left out.
I decided that this wasn’t the way I was going to perceive this incident. I decided that my inner little girl could no longer lead. I needed my adult self to respond.
I realized that I didn’t want to take on this negative feeling and that I wasn’t going to label myself as a victim or a lonely misunderstood outsider.
Instead, I said a little prayer. I named this feeling “gook.” This word represented the stickiness that I was allowing to begin forming around my eyelids. It was a feeling of not allowing my eyes to open and perceive the situation from a different angle.
I prayed for the “gook” to be removed from my eyes and to be replaced with clarity.
As I went on with my day and the feelings of exclusion and victimhood crept in, I’d stop myself in my tracks and I’d remember that I was choosing to see the situation differently.
When I realized this, this was when I felt my prayer being answered.
A new dialogue came through me.
‘Be compassionate towards her for removing and excluding you. This really isn’t about you, it’s about her. Be sensitive to her story and her reason for acting that way. Be excited for where you are on your journey and all the great things that are unfolding. Be happy for her. Being happy for her will bring you more joy.’
The continuous dialogue that downloaded through me allowed me to be more present and grounded in the situation. The more compassionate and sensitive I felt towards her story, the more I felt myself and my own wounds healing.
I was reminded to not take things personally and to remember ‘her reaction towards me is about her and my reaction to her is about me.’
There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally. -Don Miguel Ruiz
This is where I began to feel free. My heart opened and my wings were ready to launch.